on Tuesday, 5 October 2004
I meant to post this a couple of weeks ago but I kinda got sidetracked by other stuff. But now I shall try to put old thoughts into works.

I blogged about religion and the belief system quite a while back and have been struggling with it since. Funny. As was mentioned by a reader, the more we try to believe, the more mental obstacles we unconsciously put into place. Although I follow my girlfriend to church (well, mostly quite reluctantly), I find it difficult to put faith into something.

But last month, I had this weird experience. There was this guest speaker invited to talk about personal experience and bearing witness to God. Guest speakers come once in a while and they always invite non-Christians to affirm their belief or to join the faith. Sometimes I feel really touched and wanted to join in voicing out. Yet always, I just seem to hold back. Old uncertainties and questions I suppose.

At the end of it, during the silent prayers period that concludes an assembly, I prayed. I think that's the first time I've truly, really, prayed. Quoting Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty: "Now that's a prayer." :P Anway, I prayed that the Lord give me a sign, a sign that I should be here (read: church), and be able to find answers to my questions. I suppose I was (am?) in sort of a spiritual crisis.

Right after that prayer, an aunty (a really really friendly woman in the church) came and asked if I wanted to join in a class of introductory lessons on the faith. Coincidence? Divine intervention? I don't know, and perhaps will never know. But something clicked in my head. I just felt more open somehow, more accepting. A sudden moment of clarity and lucidity if you will.

And during that first lesson... a lot of answers came from the pastor's words and from the implications my mind made. All of a sudden, things seem so clear now. It's now up to me what to make of it.

2 responses:

craetech said...
16/9/05 15:51

"But something clicked in my head. I just felt more open somehow, more accepting.".. I see you've met Mr. Holy Spirit. Haha.

I know exactly what you're going through as I've too been in that situation.

You're standing before a "bridge of faith" whereby on the other end is The Father (not the trilogy). Only problem is this -- that bridge isn't there! You can't see it, you can't touch it.. so scientifically it's non-existant. This is the trickiest part at this point. Faith is blind as is love. You cannot objectify your love for The Father nor the love for your parents, siblings (if any), or your girlfriend for that matter. So if you love The Father so, then you'd take the risk and cross that gap with or without a bridge and, without a doubt, He will get you across. That's what faith is all about.

Sorry for preaching, but I hope it means something to you. ;')

David said...
19/9/05 16:43

Yes it does. Thank you very much.