A Fork in the Road

on Sunday 4 December 2005
I've recently arrived at a fork on the road of life. I got an opportunity to work in a large multi-national corporation as opposed to staying in this current small start-up company. Let me organise my thoughts...

The pay's only slightly better, but the benefits are definitely very much better. Of course, given the new location, the transportation costs and traveling time may well increase, so it's more about the job.

It's a change of environment and is a new beginning, with lots to learn and opportunities for new contacts. But I'm neither fond of changes nor making new contacts. I wasn't good at people skills to begin with and haven't picked up enough yet. But of course, I have to learn at some point. Also, let's just say that my technical skills probably won't be in any challenging or interesting situations; which is bad, since I'd much rather face a computer than a customer.

I'd get to periodically travel to new locations. That might be good, except most of the time, I'd rather be at home. Being away from weeks and months at a time is, well, unexciting at the very least (to me anyway).

The job doesn't feel bad at all, but I can't help feeling apprehensive about it. The road seems to lead to a point where I had no interest in going. So what's wrong with changing again if I don't like it? Because there's still quite a bit I can learn by staying. There's an expert (a damn good one) in the house.

Currently, things might not feel stable, but I was reassured it's more stable than it looks. And I did say I'd stay until Chinese New Year, to see how things go after all the hand-overs. Plus, I have this promise of a good job with even better pay after the festive period... we'll see.

Oh my... I'm leaning towards staying. Can you believe it? Truth to tell, after quite a bit of chats with my (relatively small) circle of friends, I do, in fact, rather stay on than change jobs.
What?! Are you crazy?! Yeah, yeah, maybe I am. I actually feel sad about leaving. There's so much potential in the product, if only we can get past that point of actually selling it. Some of the objections put forth by my pals (my beloved included):
  • Wait for Chinese New Year lah, more jobs, find more alternatives.
  • You donno how to talk to customers wan lah, sure kena bully.
  • You sure? I thought you just like to interface with computers?
  • Ask you mamak oso you lazy, some more want to go overseas ah?
  • A bit waste loh, since haven't close shop, faster ask for promotion lah!

Well... as mentioned, sooner or later you'd have to learn. Right now, I'm thinking later. All those talks and ponderings have actually brought out some resolutions for next year. I even made a list of things I need to improve on. But first and foremost, I need to pick up:
  • Better code and design skills. Basically, more technical know-how.
  • Professionalism. These days, I haven't been working as I'm being paid. Letting morale and feelings cloud my judgment. You can hate your job, your colleagues, or your superiors; but work is work. Personal feelings should never influence the results of which you're being paid for.
  • Leadership and team skills. I need to learn this anyway, so what better way to do it than in a working environment I'm familiar and comfortable with?
  • Basic business logic. I need to learn this anyway, so might as well try to pick up some concepts.

Bad choice, good choice? Only time will tell (wah cheh, like I'm making a really big decision like that... :P ). But a decision has been made. I better go apologise to those whose efforts I wasted.

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